Howws iz yas?!
I haz been chattern wiv ma uncel weserley ovir da fonne, n hee was wunderin how atterntive ma fanzieees arr.
N I says "uncel wez, ma fanzies reed awll ma poshts so they musht knows awll abowt ma!"
N weserly says, "well I can sensse a charlinge posie dorg!!"
N i says, "oookaaayz I'z will do a kwiz,
N he says "noo noo posie yoo will givv dem da answerss n cheet!"
N i sayz "yoo iz probably riyte uncel wes, eetz troo! ok uncel wes if yoo want to hold a quizzical kwizzeroooo to be an unbiarshed judggey then may freend, go fur it!"
So now doggies n fanzies n pals n hoomans n my byootiful boyfreeend Barnie, I present too yoo Uncel Wesley's Grayte Kwizzical Kwizaroooo!
Hallo its Wesleey herre, Wesley da Preserly! hmmmhhhaaa mmmh sigh haaaaah!
|HOWDY! Ats me!!|
So herres tha shizz, this is a kwizz to see just howw anttenttive yoo fanz akchully arr! I kno theese things cann be a challindge, so Im gunna be nice, ok!? n givv yoo multiple choiyce unsers! Now if yoo dont gett thim all ritye, dont wurry aboowt it, its ok, it dusnt meen yoor a failyor, dont cry, bobby'll smiyle fur yoo anyway! hhhmmmhhh hahaha sigh haha!
Ill kwestionize ya's a few times, right?! n then yoo can just a leeve a commint wiv all yoor ten answers, okkay!?! hahaha! Smile Bobby! haha mmhhh haha!
If yoo go to da effurt owf doin ma kwizz, yoo can win a priyze!!! Yurs, damn straight up!!! Ma big sister (Posie's mam) bought it speshal today, see:
|FRIKKEN YUS! YOU KNOW YA WUNT IT!!|
Its a freeking flyin duck, because posie is quackers, sorry butt its trooo! heeheehee! Its waterproof, it floats and its got speshal bungie jumpin powers if yooo pull its beak it lobs 100ft!!! FRICKEN YUS!! Yoo want it?! Do ma kwizz, post yoor answers! Yoov got 48 hours! worldwide entrants welcome!!! All those with 10 right answers get put in a draw to win the duck!!! FRICKEN YUS!!! go fur it hommies!! a winner will be picked at random, n annownsed on sunday mornin, ma tiyme, i dunno whot tiyme dat is in abroad places, i is a dog cmon! haha!! but just after 48hours, give or take sleepy time fur snoozin, ok?!
Ok hommies, righyt tha first kwestchun is an eesy wun just ti get yas started like, ok? Eeeesy peesy like liyke nippin out fur a kwiik pee in tha raiyn!!!
Kewstyun 1: Wesley da Presley is Posie-dog's ....
B: Fazzer in law
Movin Swiftly onn... to kwesion twoo, braineeacs!
Kwestion 2: What kinda dogg is tha posie?
A. Borderr Terrorist
B. Borderr Collie
C. Grayte Dane (ppppfffftt! haaahaahaahaaa!!!)
Noww, kwestion 4, i knoo kwestion 3 is missin, but its my ruddy kwizsz ok!? n I wunt to do 4 next!!!! Yas gott a problem tak it up wiv Uncel Bob! haahaaha!
Kwestion 4: How manyy legs has Posie gott? (clooo is iiiiin daaaa kweeeestyun!!!)
A. FOOOWWR (duh she's a dogg!)
B: Nun (liyke she's a tadpole?!)
C: Twoo (if yoov confyused her wiv uncel boob!)
Kwestion 3, fur all yoo peepil who arr worried abowt what happend to da missin kweshtion, its herre, ok?! This kwestion's tricky so no frettin if yoo dont gett it riyte, right?! Tho if this was 'who wunts to be a millyionarre' a lot of yas wood loose yar money round abowt now, but its ooookaaay, smile Bobby!!! Frikken yuss!
Kwestion 3: Last week I got a poshtcard frum Posie, from her holerdays, butt wherr was that poshtcard frum?
A. Ze Alps
B. Zaa Cairyngorms
C. Za Pirronees
Timme fur a littel brake... n I'll tell yas a story! go n grab yoorself a treet, n waiyt till a get cumferable, okay!?
|mutch bettir! frikken YUS!|
I wennt to the vet todday to get ma booster jab! Nasty! haahaaha, but it was a verii sexi male vet, ermm.... nott in that kinda way....erm.. help me out herre bobby, smile, wherres that bird when yoo need him?! heeehee! I'm a girl-lovin kinda dog, woof woof! And I has a big winky.... a veri veri big winky!!! haahaahaa Its massive, has anywun ever been to new york!? Seen the empire state building, aye?! Well double it n you'll get a rough idea! mmhhhh hahaha sigh haha woof woof!
Anyway, got ma booster, n saw a fat collie at the vet, as you doo! N then on da way hoomme, i deciyded it would be reeelly funny if I redd owt every road sign, every street sign, every nayme owf any shop,..... give way.... twenty....stop....church......newsagents.....bank of scottland....care home....tomatoes fur sale...all the wayy homme to wind up ma maam (Posie's Grunny A). This really seemed to get on her nerves, though ma sister, Auntie S, thot it was classic!!!
N then I gott to a sign that said "exercising of animals and golf practice is strictly forbidden!!" Now I dont know if yoor allowed to exersise animals as long as yoor not playing golf, or your allowed to play golf as long as yoor nutt exersising an animal... It seems to me, as long as your not doing the two together then yoor good to go! Anyway, I desiyded that the fat collie must belong to a golfer who lived neerby, kus he couldnt exercise it! hhahahaa mmhhh I slay myself, I'm sooo funny! hahaha, im sorry but its true, damn straight up trippin true! hahaha mmhhh sigh hahaha! Not that im name callin poor old fat collies, sometimes you just reech that age where obesity becomes an issue n yoo cant walk it off the same!! its ok!!! Maybe yoo hav arthritis, like me, but im not fat, tho I thot I was today when the vets scale was broken n it said i wa slike 2 kilos heavier than i was, chheeeeese, butt never mind....
I am digressin frum the kwizz now, but two points to take frum my experience today, 1. all doggies should get their boost (tho this is nutt a health campain, its a kwiszz) and 2. if yoo want to annoy your owner, play the 'reading out every sign in sight' game, it drives them crackers! mmmmhhhhahaha sigh hahaha!
|me, sittin in tha bakk of the carr, |
lookin fur street signs!! haahaa!
Right, time for Kwestion 5, kus we skipperd four n did it befur 3 remembir, keep up guys, it's only the fifth kwestion!
Kwestion 5: What is Posie's favrit food?
A. Banarnas (eeeeuurgh ma wurst fruit!)
B. Cheeese (ats ma favrit!!)
Kwestion 6: Posie wrotte a speshul poem, mmmnhhh mmhh!! wink wink sigh hahaaha woof woof! freeekin yus!! Who was this poom too?!
A. DipDip (woofwoof sexi chihuahua!!!! call me!)
B. Bridge (Sisters!!! I love it, call me too babie!)
C. Barnie (her long-distance lover n yorkshire lad!)
Kwestion 7: Posie is doin a speshul series at tha moment, sorry but its troo!! What is it called?
A. Posie's Friday Frolics
B. Posie's Saturday Sweeties
C. Posie's Sunday Snorsages (Haaahahaammhhhnnn sigh hahahaha!)
(PeeS, the uther ansers arr liable to now be used fur future series, kus theyre freekin good naymes!!!)
Kwestion 8: What is the crazy doggie Posie's favrit moovie?!
A. Nightmarre on Elm Street (I dontt get to watch these kind of movies)
B. Muppets Treasure Island (kus she is a muppet heeheehehahahaha sigh mmnhh haha! love her really! haahaa!)
C. Babe (tha wun with tha tasty pig!!! Oh yeah!)
Tha final 2 kwestions hommies! damn straight up trippin true, wiv ma hommies in tha crib, ... Now tha fiynal 2 kwestions arr just to see if youve been listenin well enuff dyuring ma kwizeroooo..
Kwestion 9: My Winky is twiyce tha size of...
A. Mownt Everest
B. a Postage stamp (dont even insult me and go there guys!!!!)
C. Za Empire Shtate Building (woof woof!)
Neerly there guyz, last kwestion:
Kwestion 10: What did I see at tha vet today?
A. A Fat Collie
B. Posie getting botox
C. A Hamster givin Birth, yuk!!
Yoo survived ma kwizzerooo, yeeaaah!!! give yoorself a rownd off appaaws!! YEAH! frikken yus!
Ok, guys, I'z'll give yoo bakk to ma neeicerooh, but remember, 47 hours 59 minutes lefft guys!!! YEAH! PEECE OWT HOMMIES!
|Me, keepin ma eyes on da clock!|
Oh ma gooderyness guyz, dat guy is a liyerbility!! hehee! i hopet that yoo enjoyerd his kwiss, i struggeld own a few owf them, butt he says it dusnt matter, kus i iz nott allowed to win tha reely cool duck!! heehee! Eeetz troo! heehee!
So guys, get enterin n let that duckie go to a good home, ok?!
Love n likkers,