Matthew

Herlo awll ma deer furrends,

Eet has been too long siince I has beed on heer regyoolarly to see yooos awll.  Therr has been an awfurlly lot gowin on herre's tthis yeer. 

Furstly, n' mosht impawtintly, the sad nyooze is datt ma mummer's granny passd awaiy at da very very startt owf da yeer, whitch has beed very hard fur ma mummer and dadder too, butt I has been huggling themm lots n lots n so evfurrywun is nutt qkiiyte so sadd as they werr a a fyoo weeks ago.  Butt we awll miss her terribley muches, kus she woz a very speeshul lady indeeder, ees so troo! I has nevirr spokin a trooer wurrd! Nosiree!  She gave excellernt tickkles n belly rubs, n had a funny laff n lovvd doggies n sweeties n... she was jusht grayte!!

We love yoo n fink abowt yoo efurry minute "Grunny Ferrguus"!!!!

Sekurndly, ma mummer is in da fiynal thfrows owf herr dissertayshun wriyterin at da mowment.  Nows, I dunno eksaktly whot diss meens, othir than shee hoggs da lapptop morre than I fthink she shood, ya knows?! Ees troo!  Eet is duue own da Firsht owf May, so own da Sekurrnd owff May ma mummer n mee are gownna havve da longist lie-in in bed EVIIR ALLOWED IN MAN/DOG-KIYND!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH! and thenn we is gownna go furr da longist happieyst walkkie wiv dadder evir!!!! Kus me n dadder has been soo patshient wifth mummer alwaiys stresserin abowt "the bayne owf herr liyfe" and we will awll be sooo mutch happiyer whenn it's handidd in annd awaiy! YEAH!!!!

Soo, I want to tayke thiss opportunity to say sorrie fur nutt beein morre attentive to ma bloggy owf layte, therr has jusht been a lot to fthink abouwt!!  Butt, come da summer'in days I garantee yoo awll I'z'll be heer in full force, puttin piccys up n nyooosin to yoo awll n efurryfin agaiyn!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES TRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yuppers!!!!!

Fanks to efurrywun whoo has beed sayin herlo to me, and I jusht wanna say HERLO BACK TO YOO! I is verry much still herre and hairry as evir! heehee!  I has jusht been unavoiyderbly detainned! Yeah!!  Butt heeer I is, see:

lookin pretty as evir, riyght!??!

Anyhoo, I fthot I wood tayke this chancey to remiynd yoo awll dat ma Auntie S had a poor littel guinea piggy dumpd own herr doorstepp a fyoo munths ago - I knows, despikable riyght?!?!  Well, he has growed intoo da fiynest tasty yummers healthy lookin piggy evers!! Yeah, his hair is awll thickk n shiyney n his feeties are purrfekt and his eyez are briyght, EES GRAYTE!!!

So, I thfot I wood shayre sum piccies owf Mister MATT wivth yoo awll, kus he wos gettin a bafth tooday! Heeehee, da phfrayse "Drowned Ratt" springs too miynd!  He had a bafth the othir day butt wentt n peed hisself today, so hee got his body washid but his head was okk! heehee!

So heer we has, Posie's TEN STEPPS TO A TAIYSHTIER  CLEENER GUINEE PIGG:



Furshtly: wett da pigg



Sekurrndly: tipp him ovvir andd shapmoo hiz bellie



Thirrdly: lett himm sitt whiyle hiss condishiner duss eets fthing!

Fowrfthly: poor wattir own hiz backk!



Fifthly: rinze hiz bellie!



sixthly: stopp andd laff at him lookin liyke
afowrmenshund drownd ratt! heehee!



Severnthly: towell dry!



Eightfly: comb himm owt!



Niynfthly: fiynd da tiyniest hairrdryer!



Tenfthly: aiyr dry hiss undersiyde!

Andd thenn yoo has a totally EDIBBLE  piggy!!!! NUM BURP!!!!  See:

TA DA!!! FLUFFY PIGG!

So, datt is ma wee cussin Matt, hee is kiynda cyoot tho eh?!

Well, guys I is gowin own a mini break to a playcey neer Dundee next week furr fiyve niyghts, n I carnnut waiyt! I hass to get ma baggie awll pacckked tomorro furr we is leevin own Munday!! Wahooo ees troo!  N yoo can be as surre as dat pig is cleen dat I'z'll comme backk wiv lots owf byooterful pictyoors owf ME!!!!! Andd I will shayre themm awll wifth yoo guys, ma furrends!

EEss good to be back, butt I has pakkin to do! So tayke cayre owf yoor anirmal selves n I'z'll see ya'w'll soon! EEES TROO!

Love n likkers owf da hiyghest degree,

Yoor furrend,

Da P-diddler-dorg
Posie

xxoxxoxx