Harrnniss

Hey therr chummyfreeends!!!

How goes it awll furr yoo awll todays!?!?  

Ok, so I iz gownna diskuss an isshue wivfth yoo guys - MA HARNNISS!!!  Sheesh!  Eets liyke kryptoniyte furr ma eyez!!! 

So, I'zll lovve gowin furr wallkie, yippiesirrriee! OH YEAH! EEES TROO - deffinatlly, yup!  I'z wud say dat walkkies iz wun owf ma favrit fthings in da wurrld, well ees in ma topp fiyve, alonng wifth:

• visitern relatives
• gettin nuggies
• sleepin
• eetin

YEAH, dat looks riyght, but maybe in a diffrint orderr:

1. walkkies
2. eetin
3. sleepin
4. visitin relatives
5. gettin nuggies

Mmmmh, noo  I really really liyke gettin nuggied n clapped n tickled, morre thann anyfink, it maykes my tail go wiggie!!!  So, maybee:

1. getting nuggies
2. sleepin
3. eetin
4. visitn relativvs
5. wallkies

No, thatt  dusnnt worrk, kus I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES gowin to see ma Auntiie Rowie!... I gott eet:

1. visitin relertives
2. gettin nuggies
3. wallkies
4. sleepin
5. eetin

WHAT DA HECK, I cant putt eetin last??!  PPPFFF!!! NO WAYS!

Thiz is reeeelly relly hard guuys, I dunno if yooz has evir triyed to do this befurr, but eet messes wifth yer hedd! Eees troo!  Guys, I dontt fink I can putt ma favrits in a list, ees stressing me ouwt! heehehee!

Soo, letss jusht say, "amongzt uther thingss", I relly love gowin walkkies, OOOOOOOOOOOH YEAH!  Butt, partt n parcell wifth gowin furr a wanddir is MA HARNISS!!!!! GULP!  Yeah, so ma hoomans say thatt I can only go furr walkies if I iz sayfe in ma harniss!!!!  Butt eet freeks da poop outta me!!! Ees troo!  Wonce eets own, eets grayte I can run arownd sniffin fings n ma butt goes wiggie n ma taily flickks abowt, n I is da happeriest dogger in da landd, butt ees da gettin itt own in da furst placey!! Doez nobuddy else HATE IT!?!?!?!?

Lett me demowntrayte wifth a shorrt peece of vidyeographik footayge:

See hoow I'm liyke YEAH YEAH RUNNIN, WALKKIES WHOOOOO, n then UH-OH nutt tha harness, I boww to yoo dadder, dontt mayke me wayre eet!!!

I fink I hate ma harniss as mutch as I hatte when we runn out owf shteak and chikken, or when I has to be gowin to tha vet.  Ooh hanng own a minutey...

1. MA HARNISS
2. Whenn we runn out owf meets
3. Whenn I haz to go to da vets
4. Gettin ma teethies brushed.....

OH no, butt I hates gowin to da vets more than nutt having chickkern, maybe gettin teethies brushed ees wurse kus if yoo.......

Say noo to gettin yoor harniss putt on doggies! YEAH! heeheehee

Love n likkers,

(Me, gowin backk furr a snooze -
eet ees wun owf ma favritt things to doo aftir awll!
heehee!)

Pdorg xxoxxx

(PeeS ma mummer n dadder sezz dat yoosing a harniss is veryy senserble kus it's niycer own a doggies neckk, so I shtill has to yooose eet! PPPFFFFFTTT!!! WHAT DA HECKS!?)

PIIIIIEEEES

Hey guys!  Arr yoos awll fiyne?!

Okays, so mummer is sittin wurkin andd me annd ma daddir is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORRED!!! 

I iz liyke, "c'mon alreeedy mummer, ees Saturrdaiy nigyht, c'mon we hitt da town, n havv a partty!?!?!" 

N she is awll liyke "No, shhhh Posie, I'z consenraytun!"  

So, I satt n lisstenned to herr tell dadder awll abowt theese pieez she be makiin n I'm liyyke OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!  

N she saiys too dadder, "So, thiz persun gets 8 owf tha pie, whiyle they onliiy get 4, butt twoo owf themm arr nutt gettin bits at awll!" 

N I was sittin fthinkkin, oooooh nummers pieee! N I said to mammer, "Erm mammer see iff yoo hass twoo peeple nott wantin pies, doez thatt meen I'z cann gett theirr bitzz?!?! PLEEES NUMMS, I LOVVE PIE, is eet SHTEEEEAAAAK!?!!?!"  

Mumm laffed at mee, showdd me tha lapptopp n sed, "Oh silliy Pozie, theiyrr nott reel pies, look:"

WHAT DA HECKK!?
WHERRS THA SHTEAK!?!?!

So, thatt iz tottarly nutt a pie MAMMER!!!!!!! I is compleetly nutt amyoosed nowws! N I'z awaiy upp to ma room to sulk!!! YEAH! heeheehee!

Anyhoo guys, pies orr no pies, ma mummer is shtill wurkin so I'zll speek to ya layters!

Love n likkers,

Pdorg xxoxxx

Neeeerrllleeeee Wwwwurdelleesssss Wwwedddneeerrsdaaaiiii!!!!!

I'z nutt getterin' uppersz ttodays! Nope! Nevvir gunnaa happenn!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ....izzzat Jaymes Wellbeeeluvved hitterin' mma foodee bowwwl??

I'z mayz havsz tooo reeconsiiddduyr!  EEEes Trooo!

HEe hee

Hazs a grayte day pallssseeez!

Lowts owf Love'n'Lickersz

Da PSchnizzle!

XXOX

21st Censhoorie Beayrs!!

Good dayy awll ma furrends,

Plees acksept ma warrm greetinggs own diss very chilliy Sunnday, indeeder ees freezin in Scottlandd today!! Yuppers, ees troo!

So, I'z was liyke totarly sleepin own ma mummer n dadder's beddie (heeehee!!) this morninn, liyke dis:

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I'z was awll dreamin n sleepin n shtuff, n thenn I herd ma mummer go GETT UPPZ POSIE!!!! C'MON!!! UP UP!!!!:

N I was liyke "WHOT DA HECKS?!
WHERRS DA FROG OWN A
TEABAGG!?!" OH yeah,
I was seepin, womman,
whatz GOIN OWN?!??!"

So, I'z got roodly awayked furm ma shlumber, n I was nott amyoosed n then she did this REELLY anoyin fing shee dus to get me roussd outta bed: "C'MON POSIE, IT'S UPPY PUPPY TIME!! UP UP!!!" N I'm liyke "WHOT DA HECK!!!??!? I'Z JUSHT OPEND MA EYEZ N I'Z BEEIN USHERRD OWF DA BEDD!! PFFFFTTTF!!!!"

So, yeah, then I'z gett towld to go downstaiyrs:

"I'm gowin, i'm gowin, SHEESH MUMMER,
CAN I OPENZ MA EYEZ FURST?!"

N thenn she tells me, iff I'z needin to do a bloggy posht, this is ma allottid tiymetabled tiyme to do it, so go go GO POSIE DOGG!!!

N I'm awll WHATT!?  I'z seepin!!!!!! MUMMER!!!

Andd this is why I is herre, bloggin riyght now...

Get me a cupp owf cofffeee, orr a bowil owwf
chikkern or sumfin!! SHeeesh!!

Yeah, so HERLO DOGGERY FURRENDS AND PALS!!! I am herre wifv yoo now, kuss mummer needs the lapptopper layter!!!  Allottid tiymetable segmennts, pfffft! Heeheee! Eees troo!

21st Century Bears

(fanks go to ma mummer fur da spellin!!)

So, I'm herre today to tell yoo awll abowt AN AMAZERIN ARTISHTIK TARLENT!!! YEah, eees so increderbly troo!  Yoo've maybe seen ma nyoo furrend  popp onto ma pagey laytely, ma MINI ME!!! Yeah!  So, I thott I shood tayke a minutey to tell yoo awll abowt whot eet ees and wherr eet cames frum!! 

I fownd outt about an amazin teddy-beayr-makinn lady, cawlled Caren, frum ma dearr owld friendd who is no longer wivv us Marley, bless his littel soul!!! He gotted a mini me mayde jusht furr him, and owf coursse we awll knows him as tha wun and onliiiee Mister Clapton Terrier, friend owf Miss Lola da borderr terriorists!!!  

So, guys therrs thiz wunderful laydie cawlled Caren, whoo maykes littel teddy bearrs who look liyke doggies, n she maykes pussycatts n othir aniymalls too, this is herr websiyte herre!!  She also has a bloggy too, wherre shee putts upp pics owf somme sammples owf her wurk!

Herr teddies arrr gorgeooos and she haz a verii verii craftiy eye indeeder!  Jusht look at ma mini meee:

Shee's gotted awll ma markkins downnt to a tee!!! Ma blakk diamonnd own ma forrheadd, ma blackk spotts own eether cheek, ma greyy strippe own ma tailey!!! Ees byooterful n I is verry grayteful furr this verii speshul teddy!!!  Neederless too say, dadder sez I is nutt allowed to play wiv eet, pppfff!!

So, we jusht wanttid to putt up some pictyoors to lett awll yoo furrends owf mine see whot a verii speshul thing thiss wudd be for pressies n keepsaykes n fings yoo know!?  We gotted wun mayde owf Auntie Rowie, fur herr mummer and dadder:

Issnt tha resemblance jusht perrfeckt!?

Andd we also gotted wun dunn owf Uncel Wesley fur hiz mummer n dadder too:

The look own tha mini Wesley's facey is jught SOOOOO UNCEL WES, he oftenn has that almost sterrn/shifty look in hiss, eye, eets troo!  N we fink da pin strip hairr own da nose is PERFEKT!!

Downt yoo think they arr jusht grayte??!?!  We are verry impressed and so we jusht had to shayre it wifth tha wurld!!!  So we say, altho she musht be a furry verriy buziee layde, yoo shoood totarly chekk owt her websiyte n see how grayte herr littel treshures arr, indeeeder!!!

Well guyz I gess I iz gownna haff to lovve yas n leeve yas, kuss Mummerymam sayz I has onlie got 17secs lefft too yoos the lapptop, kus she needz to gett own wifth her wurk, sheesh, how demandiin is she?!

Yoo awll tayke good cares now, n I'll be bakk to catch upp wifvth yas soonly!!!

Love n maniey slurpy likkers,

Pdiddlerydorgdorg,

Posie,

xxxoxxxoxxx

Snowwy Scottland

 Herlo palls,

Well, I's been buziie laytely, soo mutch nyoos n fings to shayre wivv yoo awll! I haz been dowin tha rownds owf awll yoo guyz bloogiyes n enjoyerin heerin awll yoo guyz nyoos!Ma mummer has been enjoyerin eet too! Shee sayz speendinn a minutey efurry so offen ees a niyce brayke fromm wurkin own her dissertayshun!! 

UPDAYTE, shees gott fiyve weeks till ees awll handid in and awaiy n furgottin abowt, n shee will ahvv tiyme in her day to help me wivv ma bloggy n she wont be hoggin da lapptopp no morre! EES TROO GUYZ!!!!!! Da 1st owf Maay, heer we comme! OH YEAH!!!! 

Soo we wennt own ower HOLYDOLS, n eet was rubbish, yeah, ees troo! Da placey was mingiinn n tha toilett was broken n pppff, efurrything was awfull! So we thott we shood comme homme errly.  While wee wz diskussin this own owr sekund lasht mornnin, ma mummer fownd a bigg ole lump on da roof owf ma mouff!!! N her n dadder was liyke UH-OH!! Mummer was cryerin, n dadder was like fone tha vet, we'll go homme.  So we pakked up awll da fings in our holyday housey and lefft! We wennt strayt to da vett, n apparently, heehee, mosht doggies havv a coupple owf lumpies own da roof owf their mouth!  So, lett me tayke dis opportunity to broadcassht to awll da doggies (and hoomans n othir petts too) owt therre, ees impawtant to checkk fur lumpies, too keep us healfthy and sayfe!!!  

INCISIVE PAPILLA AWARENESS 
(Tfhanks mummer fur da shpellin!)

But, let me explaiyn aboutt this (moshtly) safe lumpie type, cawlled tha "incisive papilla" (fanks mummer agen! heehee!).  I'zll demonstrayte wiv a cuppel owf examples:

http://www.lab-retriever.net/board/general-health-issues/7307431-bump-mouth.html

Apparently they iss very prominent in labradorrs!

Herr is anuther pic and a quotey frum tha websiyte:

http://veterinarynews.dvm360.com/dvm/article/articleDetail.jsp?id=374304&sk=&date=&pageID=3

"The raised region at the rostral extent of the mucosa at the midline, caudal to the incisors is the incisive papilla. Paired incisive ducts exist lateral to the papilla and communicate directly with the vomeronasal organ. Inflammation of the mucosa of these structures can become a clinical concern when food and debris accumulate abnormally."

That basicarly translaytes as: therrs a lump/or twoo little bumps at the front behind yoor top twoo frunt teethies. Therrs wee ducks ducts at eether sidde that go up pasht yoor nose ... ees basically sumfin to do wivv hormonne releesin, or shtuff, so wheen yoo gett awll exciyted the hormonnes arr past down thru thees ducts n eet maykes yooo pant, I'z dunno, I'z a fthree yeer owld borderr terrior, nott a veternary surgjin!! yeah!

This is whot eet looks liyke in catts:

http://loudoun.nvcc.edu/vetonline/vet221/dentistry/lesson1.htm

Ok, so yoor gettin the gjist herre, riyght!?  Basically ees safe enuff iff yoo havv em, BUTT, n heed that butt, eet can gett inflaymmed (as eet says in my fanciey wurded quotte up therr^^) liyke if yoo eet a lott owf drieyd foodies or sumfin so, miyne was a bit red n broosd, so I got anti-inflammitries n gott toldd to eese intoo a morre wett diett! YEAH! EES TROO!

Soo, that'ss whot I had wrongg, I is gowin bakk to da vett next week to mayke surre it has un-in-flaymed, too mayke shoor I iz ok!!  Butt in da meen tiyme check owt yoor papillas guys n mayke shoor ees noot too big!! We cood evin hav a papilla photoo contist!!! HEEHEE! Ees troo!  

Soo guyz, mummer says we hass procrastinaytid enuff frum her dissertashun, so we dhoo probarbly be offskies.  In da meen tiyme lett me tell yoo HOLY BAJOLIES, ees a snowwy day herre wiff me, see:

Mutch better insiyde lookin owt tooday!!

Mummer mayde me go owt n doo ma poopers and checkk ma peemaiyls innit, pppfft, I got awll snowflayked own! heehee!, so I'z cayme in annd snuggerld up in ma bedder nekst to da radiatorr, see:

OOOH YEAH! COSIIEE!

Butt, shee says datt we shood go owtt furr sum freshaiyrs n havv a walkkie in da snoow layters on, pppfff, I is nutt so shuur, unless I'z gett a coatt n a pair owf booties!! YEAH! heehee!

Wrapp up well guys n keepp yoor eyez on yoor papillars!!!

Lovve n likkies yoor furrend andd helth-infurmant,

Miss Posery-dorg

xxoxxxoxx

Matthew

Herlo awll ma deer furrends,

Eet has been too long siince I has beed on heer regyoolarly to see yooos awll.  Therr has been an awfurlly lot gowin on herre's tthis yeer. 

Furstly, n' mosht impawtintly, the sad nyooze is datt ma mummer's granny passd awaiy at da very very startt owf da yeer, whitch has beed very hard fur ma mummer and dadder too, butt I has been huggling themm lots n lots n so evfurrywun is nutt qkiiyte so sadd as they werr a a fyoo weeks ago.  Butt we awll miss her terribley muches, kus she woz a very speeshul lady indeeder, ees so troo! I has nevirr spokin a trooer wurrd! Nosiree!  She gave excellernt tickkles n belly rubs, n had a funny laff n lovvd doggies n sweeties n... she was jusht grayte!!

We love yoo n fink abowt yoo efurry minute "Grunny Ferrguus"!!!!

Sekurndly, ma mummer is in da fiynal thfrows owf herr dissertayshun wriyterin at da mowment.  Nows, I dunno eksaktly whot diss meens, othir than shee hoggs da lapptop morre than I fthink she shood, ya knows?! Ees troo!  Eet is duue own da Firsht owf May, so own da Sekurrnd owff May ma mummer n mee are gownna havve da longist lie-in in bed EVIIR ALLOWED IN MAN/DOG-KIYND!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH! and thenn we is gownna go furr da longist happieyst walkkie wiv dadder evir!!!! Kus me n dadder has been soo patshient wifth mummer alwaiys stresserin abowt "the bayne owf herr liyfe" and we will awll be sooo mutch happiyer whenn it's handidd in annd awaiy! YEAH!!!!

Soo, I want to tayke thiss opportunity to say sorrie fur nutt beein morre attentive to ma bloggy owf layte, therr has jusht been a lot to fthink abouwt!!  Butt, come da summer'in days I garantee yoo awll I'z'll be heer in full force, puttin piccys up n nyooosin to yoo awll n efurryfin agaiyn!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES TRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Yuppers!!!!!

Fanks to efurrywun whoo has beed sayin herlo to me, and I jusht wanna say HERLO BACK TO YOO! I is verry much still herre and hairry as evir! heehee!  I has jusht been unavoiyderbly detainned! Yeah!!  Butt heeer I is, see:

lookin pretty as evir, riyght!??!

Anyhoo, I fthot I wood tayke this chancey to remiynd yoo awll dat ma Auntie S had a poor littel guinea piggy dumpd own herr doorstepp a fyoo munths ago - I knows, despikable riyght?!?!  Well, he has growed intoo da fiynest tasty yummers healthy lookin piggy evers!! Yeah, his hair is awll thickk n shiyney n his feeties are purrfekt and his eyez are briyght, EES GRAYTE!!!

So, I thfot I wood shayre sum piccies owf Mister MATT wivth yoo awll, kus he wos gettin a bafth tooday! Heeehee, da phfrayse "Drowned Ratt" springs too miynd!  He had a bafth the othir day butt wentt n peed hisself today, so hee got his body washid but his head was okk! heehee!

So heer we has, Posie's TEN STEPPS TO A TAIYSHTIER  CLEENER GUINEE PIGG:



Furshtly: wett da pigg



Sekurrndly: tipp him ovvir andd shapmoo hiz bellie



Thirrdly: lett himm sitt whiyle hiss condishiner duss eets fthing!

Fowrfthly: poor wattir own hiz backk!



Fifthly: rinze hiz bellie!



sixthly: stopp andd laff at him lookin liyke
afowrmenshund drownd ratt! heehee!



Severnthly: towell dry!



Eightfly: comb himm owt!



Niynfthly: fiynd da tiyniest hairrdryer!



Tenfthly: aiyr dry hiss undersiyde!

Andd thenn yoo has a totally EDIBBLE  piggy!!!! NUM BURP!!!!  See:

TA DA!!! FLUFFY PIGG!

So, datt is ma wee cussin Matt, hee is kiynda cyoot tho eh?!

Well, guys I is gowin own a mini break to a playcey neer Dundee next week furr fiyve niyghts, n I carnnut waiyt! I hass to get ma baggie awll pacckked tomorro furr we is leevin own Munday!! Wahooo ees troo!  N yoo can be as surre as dat pig is cleen dat I'z'll comme backk wiv lots owf byooterful pictyoors owf ME!!!!! Andd I will shayre themm awll wifth yoo guys, ma furrends!

EEss good to be back, butt I has pakkin to do! So tayke cayre owf yoor anirmal selves n I'z'll see ya'w'll soon! EEES TROO!

Love n likkers owf da hiyghest degree,

Yoor furrend,

Da P-diddler-dorg
Posie

xxoxxoxx

Neeerly Wurdless Wendersday!

Eef yoo dozen't luk att mee thenn I'z won't luk att yoo!

Crreeepy eh? Eees troo!

Luv an lickeries

Da Pdidledorg

XXOX